Whoops
by nealalalala
Summary: It's one thing to be nervous about kissing someone. It's another thing entirely to accidentally kiss the wrong person. Established Zoro x OC and Sanji x Nami
**Whoops**

"Fucking hell, Marimo. If you want to do it, just _man up_ and do it! Stop hiding in the galley and pissing me off with your sickening cowardice."

Zoro sent Sanji a reproachful frown. That was going a bit far and the other man was being plain unfair. It was common knowledge that the swordsman was no expert in the romance department and the cook was (so he claimed) and it took a lot for Zoro to ask the damn curly-browed pervert for help. Yet there he stood, glaring with his one visible eye, telling Zoro to screw off.

The swordsman wanted to punch him so bad.

But he couldn't. There was something he wanted, no, _needed_ to do and as much as it pained him to admit it, he needed the Ero-cook's advice.

Taking a deep breath, he replied in the most level voice he could muster, "I'm not trying to be a coward, Shit Cook." Okay, so maybe he shouldn't have used that particular nickname but it was too late to take it back and he wasn't going to apologize anyway. "You say you're an expert in these things so help me out." Sanji gave him an expectant stare. "Please…" Zoro grumbled with a roll of his eyes.

The blond let out an over exaggerated sigh. "Well since you're so pathetically inexperienced I guess I have no choice." Zoro could tell by Sanji's stupid condescending smirk that he was _never_ going to let him live this down. "Tell me again what it is you wanted to do?"

Zoro felt heat rise to his cheeks and crossed his arms, choosing to look anywhere but at Sanji. The damn bastard already knew what Zoro wanted yet there he was, shit-eating grin on his face wanting to hear it again just for the satisfaction of embarrassing the swordsman. His response was a garbled mumble aimed at the wall.

He didn't even need to look at the cook to know his smirk was widening. "What was that?"

"I want to kiss Shiloh!" Zoro yelled much louder than he had intended. "You fucking shit-head!" He threw the insult in for good measure help needed be damned. The green-haired man only had so much patience, after all.

"Well then just do it, you idiot!" Sanji yelled back, amusement gone from his face. Zoro figured the chef had about as much of him as he himself had for the blond for the moment. They could only stomach being in each other's presence for so long before fighting. "It isn't like you haven't before!"

It was a good thing they were in the galley because Zoro was sure Sanji would have aimed a kick right in his face if they hadn't been and he wouldn't have been able to resist retaliating. "That's different," he replied with a glare.

"Oh yeah?" The blond challenged. "How?"

Sometimes, he really just _hated_ Sanji. He was sure his face couldn't get any redder. "There's always something that leads up to a kiss," Zoro grumbled, awkwardly running a hand through his short hair. "Like, we'll be talking or having a really good time doing something and then it just… _happens._ "

"Well, then make it _just happen_ ," the cook replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Zoro huffed. "You say that like it's easy."

The blond stood up straighter, chest puffed out obnoxiously. "Well it is. For a _real_ man."

That was it. Zoro let out an enraged growl and shouted, "Fine then! I'll just go do it! Thanks for nothing, you useless good-for-nothing curly-browed bastard!" In the back of his mind, a tiny voice was telling him that he should have known better than to let the stupid cook's snarky comments get to him but it had been a long afternoon of agonizing over how to approach Shiloh and an even longer evening of working towards putting his pride aside to ask the damn blond to help him out. With Sanji's last taunting jab, Zoro's cup of patience finally spilled over.

Method and restraint be damned, the swordsman stomped over towards the women's quarters knowing Shiloh was in there since she had no more duties for the day, and banged on the door much harder than he should have. "SHY!" He bellowed. "OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!"

The second the door cracked the tiniest bit, Zoro decided he would just go for it. He closed his eyes, puckered his lips just a little, and made sure to aim low since Shiloh was significantly shorter than him.

For an instant, he felt the familiar warmth of affection hit his chest but as suddenly as it came it left, leaving him feeling a bit disappointed. He had expected something a little more… exciting. Sharing a kiss with Shiloh, no matter the duration, always left him with fire in his veins. Surely, something as spontaneous as a surprise kiss would have felt more intense.

Also, why did the redhead's lip feel slightly more firm than usual?

And what the _hell_ was under his chin that was so damn squishy?

Zoro finally opened his eyes and was horrified to find himself eye to eye with a certain busty navigator's cleavage.

"WHAT THE FUCK, NAMI!" He practically screamed as he back up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Much to his surprise, rather than screeching or hitting him, the orange haired woman merely leveled him with a stern glare. "What do you think you're doing, Zoro?"

He would have rather she had punched him in the head or something. Face turning red from the one hundred levels of embarrassment he was currently feeling, the swordsman grumbled honestly, "I thought you were Shiloh."

"So you randomly sexually assault Shy too?"

"No!" Zoro found himself slightly offended at her words. "I would never do something like that. Don't lump me in with the Pervert Cook of yours."

Oh _shit._

There was no way Nami wouldn't tell Sanji about what had just happened and when she did… There was no way the cook would let him live. Even if he and Zoro were evenly matched in terms of strength, the blond's (completely justified) fury would give him an edge, one that Zoro couldn't predict or measure until it was either too late or he killed the cook first. Which he, despite all his threats, would never actually do. There'd be no one to feed Luffy and that pretty much meant eternal misery for the rest of the crew.

"How much?" He asked darkly.

Nami raised a brow at him, her arms crossed under her ample breasts. "What?"

"How much," Zoro repeated through gritted teeth, "Do you want from me in exchange for _not_ telling Sanji?" He used the cook's real name just so Nami knew he was being dead serious.

The navigator scoffed. "You mean how much should I add to the massive debt you already owe me?" Zoro resisted the urge to reply with an insult. "The amount is so ridiculously huge that it won't matter if I add more; you're already going to be paying it off for the rest of your life."

He had said it a million times: Nami was a straight up _witch_. "So then what do you want from me?"

"Hmm," the busty woman sarcastically contemplated. "Let me think for a minute…" To Zoro, Nami's minute seemed to last three hours so when she opened her mouth to answer, he was sure whatever she was going to demand of him would be both cruel and unusual. To his surprise, she turned her head and called inside the women's quarters, "Shy!"

A cold chill ran up Zoro's spine. "Nami, don't - "

The shorter redhead appeared beside the navigator, eyes curious as they shifted from Nami to Zoro. "Yeah?"

Before Zoro could say a word, Nami leaned casually against the side of the door arms still crossed and stated, "Zoro kissed my cleavage."

That was it. His short but enjoyable relationship with Shiloh was over for sure. There was no doubt in his mind that evil, manipulative, _sea witch_ Nami would twist the situation around and fill the redhead's brain with lies that would make him look like an absolute scumbag. Sure, it wasn't right that he had kissed the navigator, but it wasn't as if he had done it _on purpose._ But Nami would surely leave out that important detail. He braced himself for disappointment or anger from Shiloh.

But she merely raised her brows at him before looking back to Nami. "Oh."

"He's offered me anything I want in exchange for not telling Sanji about this little incident."

As Zoro's face grew angrier, Shiloh's grew more befuddled. "Ok…?"

Nami rolled her eyes and pushed off the doorframe to stand up straight. She gave Zoro a hard look that he returned with the nastiest glare he could muster and said, "I'm just going to pretend this never happened." The swordsman felt his jaw drop to the floor, all anger replaced by confusion. "No charge. Consider yourself lucky." With a sigh, Nami put her hands on Shiloh's shoulders and pushed her towards the still stunned swordsman. "Deal with him."

"Wait," Shiloh called before Nami could disappear inside. "Can I kiss your boobs too?"

Zoro, despite being utterly baffled at what was even going on anymore, couldn't help but snort as the busty navigator landed a well-aimed smacked to the side of the shorter woman's head. "SHY!"

"Sorry!" The redhead exclaimed as she ducked away from Nami, one hand rubbing the bump beginning to form from the irate woman's blow. "It was worth a try..."

And with that, Nami stalked back into the women's quarters, slamming the door shut and leaving Zoro and Shiloh standing awkwardly in front of it. The swordsman chanced a glance at the small woman standing beside him. She was still rubbing her head. "So…" he ventured carefully, "You're not mad?"

Shiloh turned to give him a searching look before blinking once and shrugging. "Not really. I mean, I'm surprised but it's not like you did it on purpose, right?"

"Right." Words couldn't express how relieved he felt that she had believed it was an accident. Wait. He hadn't gotten the chance to tell her that yet. Zoro frowned. "You knew it wasn't on purpose?"

A small laugh was the response, along with an endearing smile that made his cheeks heat up. "Come on, I know you better than that. Besides, you look nothing like a cheater."

He gave her a half curious, half questioning stare. "What does a cheater even look like?"

"Like an arrogant, cowardly, self-absorbed scum-bag." Zoro found himself slightly taken aback at the venom behind her words. As if catching herself, Shiloh blinked and looked away sheepishly.

"Have you ever…?" _Been cheated on?_ The second the spoken words left his mouth he refused to say the rest and regretted that he had even started. It was a personal question and though their relationship was growing, he wasn't sure if _those_ kinds of questions were yet acceptable.

"No," Shiloh replied without a hint of anger in her voice. In fact, she sounded almost… ashamed? "But, as a former prostitute, I've slept with my fair share of taken and married men."

Now he _really_ wished he hadn't asked. In fact, he felt like an absolute idiot for not having come up with that conclusion himself. It wasn't as if he hadn't known that was Shiloh's previous occupation. Hearing the redhead speak with such shame in her voice made his chest tighten with sadness for the young woman and anger at her previous situation. He should have been more considerate. _Stupid, Zoro!_

"Anyway," Shiloh continued dismissively, "You're nothing like them so I know you would never kiss someone else on purpose." She gave him a teasing look and a smirk that made him feel somewhere between amused and nervous. "But that sure is a weird accident. How did it even happen?"

Zoro blushed, crossed his arms with a huff, and looked away. "I thought _you_ were answering the door."

It was Shiloh's turn to blush. "You were going to give me a kiss?"

He nodded but he was still looking to the side, posture stiff. How was it that he had messed up one simple kiss so badly? He felt both stupid and annoyed, vowing to take out his irritation on Sanji later. The feeling of Nami's bust under his chin hit him in the gut like a swift kick. On second thought, he would leave the cook alone. He _had_ accidentally kissed his woman, after all. He suddenly felt slightly nauseous.

"Why?"

Shiloh's question brought him out of his thoughts with a sudden jolt. When his brain finally managed to register her question, some of his annoyance directed towards the short redhead. "Because I wanted to. I just felt like giving you a kiss so I did. Or, well… I tried." She just _had_ to remind him of his terrible and very stupid failure.

He hadn't been looking towards her, so when Shiloh was suddenly directly in front of him with her hand gently placed on his forearm he was taken aback the slightest bit. The redhead's eyes were locked on his, cheeks pink as she slowly said, "Why don't you try again?"

If he wasn't Roronoa Zoro, the man who would defeat Dracule Mihawk and take his title of World's Greatest Swordsman, the green-haired man would have choked on his tongue and sputtered like a fool at the sultry suggestion. But, since he was, after all, Roronao Zoro, he instead lowered his voice and his head so that their foreheads were touching. "It was supposed to be a surprise," he murmured.

"Then I'll close my eyes."

He needed no more invitation and had no more restraint anyway when she did just that, tilted her head slightly to the left and leaned upwards towards him. Their lips met in a gentle kiss, soft and quiet, much like their relationship. Unlike Sanji and Nami, whose relationship was like a crashing thunderstorm (noisy, wild, and pretty much unstoppable), his and Shiloh's was like spring rain: slow and warm, causing an unfamiliar but entirely welcome bloom between them.

Zoro's heart skipped a beat as he felt Shiloh begin to pull away. They had yet to share a long kiss. If there was ever an opportunity to surprise the redhead, now was the time. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her body closer to his, sending the message that he wasn't ready for her to release his lips just yet.

When Shiloh's lips remained still Zoro wondered if he had done something he shouldn't have. Not actually knowing what came next, he opened his eyes and meant to pull away and whisper and apology, but what _happened_ was that he came face to face with a deep amber gaze that sent a chill down his spine before soft lips were once again on his.

A strangled and nearly embarrassing sound passed through his slightly open mouth and into Shiloh's. So many new sensations were assaulting him that he could do nothing but try to acknowledge them all. Shiloh's teeth nipped at his bottom lip. Shiloh's tongue gently made it's way into his mouth. Shiloh's left hand was against his jaw, thumb stroking his cheekbone. Shiloh's right hand loosely tangled in the hair at the back of his head.

Suddenly, the redhead's tongue brushed the roof of his mouth and a tingle shot through his body, causing him to all but crush the small woman against him. He wasn't sure what to do but he mimicked the movements of her lips and tongue with his, a fire burning in his chest.

It almost felt like battle fever, but starting from his heart instead of his gut. Every single part of his body felt hot in a way he had never experienced and the only coherent thought he had was that it must have been because of the redhead in his arms. She had done something to him; he wasn't sure what it was or whether it was going to be good or bad in the long run, but in that moment it felt good. _Incredibly_ good.

The heat began to linger in his stomach, the shivers running up and down his spine suddenly rushing to a much different place, one that surprised him so much that his body jerked and a clashing of teeth caused him to break the kiss. If that was even considered a kiss anymore. He didn't know. Hell, it felt like he didn't know _anything_ anymore. His hands fell away from Shiloh's waist immediately as he tried to get his crotch as far away from her as possible despite his body wanting to do the exact opposite. He took a deep breath (when had he even lost it?) and tried to look anywhere except the woman in front of him.

"Sorry," Shiloh said with a breathless giggle. "I guess I got a little too enthusiastic."

 _She_ was apologizing? "No," he replied hurriedly, "No it's not your fault or anything… I just, um, I wasn't expecting… what I mean is, uh…" Why the _hell_ was he stuttering? What was going on with him?

Shiloh silenced him with a raised hand. "It's okay. I get it." A blush spread across her face as she looked away with a shy smile. "Thanks," she whispered. "That was a nice surprise."

He turned away with a ridiculous and foreign amount of embarrassment. Of course he'd gotten erections before (mostly in the morning), it was just a part of male biology; but he had never actually felt _aroused_ by anyone.

The swordsman wasn't sure what to do. He was usually so disciplined, his mind and body so in tune with one another that the odd occurrence of the two completely contradicting each other threw him through a loop. _She just thanked you,_ his brain reminded him.

"You're… welcome?" _Why_ had that come out in the form of a question?! He couldn't even remember the last time he felt so flustered. Not only flustered, but _utterly ridiculous_.

Shiloh's response was to let out a small laugh, the blush on her cheeks fading. "What's with that face?"

"Huh?"

"You're face," the redhead repeated. "You said 'you're welcome,' but your face said 'what the fuck is going on?'"

Zoro felt all the awkward embarrassment in him drain away at the sight of her laughing face. Despite himself, he shook his head and managed a small grin. "Well, what the fuck _is_ going on?"

"I _think_ ," Shiloh chirped, "We just made out. And I _know_ I'd like to try again some time. If that's okay with you, that is."

 _Was_ that okay with him? His fourth sword was screaming 'hell yes,' and his brain was asking 'why not?' so out of his mouth came, "Yeah. Sure."

"OH MY GOD," came a loud and very surprising yell from the women's quarters doorway. Neither of them had even noticed it was opened. Nami stood with her hands on hips, sending the pair an only mildly fierce glare. "Get a room!"

* * *

"It's the right thing to do."

Zoro groaned. "I know but that doesn't make it suck any less. He might _actually_ kick my ass."

"I'll be right outside the door if you need me to come to your rescue."

He snorted. "Yeah, right. _You_ come to _my_ rescue. You gonna bite his ankles or something?"

"If I need to!"

"Shut up, Shy." The only feeling behind the words had been amusement. He took a deep breath and stepped towards the galley door.

"Good luck."

"Yeah." He probably needed it this time. "Thanks."

* * *

"Cook."

Sanji turned around with mild surprise to find Zoro standing at the door. It was unusual for the swordsman to come into the galley after dinner. "What do you want, Marimo?"

Was it his imagination or did Zoro look almost… uncomfortable?

"Shit," he grumbled. "What happened? Did you screw things up with Shiloh?"

"No," the swordsman answered after a brief pause. "We, uh… we're good."

Sanji let out a nearly relieved sigh. "Well then, get out. Unless you want to help with dishes, you have no reason to be in here."

"I'll help."

 _What_? "All right," Sanji said as he slapped down the dishtowel in his hand. Now he was suspicious. "What's going on?" When the swordsman chose to cross his arms and look away instead of answer, Sanji stomped over to him and grabbed him by the collar. "I said, 'What's going on?' And don't even try to tell me it's nothing because you wouldn't be in here offering to help out like a normal, decent human being if there weren't. Now talk."

Zoro took a breath and much to Sanji's surprise, raised a hand in a 'hold on' gesture. "Before I say anything, I just want to remind you that we're in _your_ galley where _your_ cooking things are." Sanji let go of the swordsman's caller in favor of throwing his hands up in confusion, a scowl on his face. What the hell was the stupid Marimo telling him that for?

"I accidentally kissed Nami."

Oh.

"On top of her breasts."

Huh…

"I thought she was Shy and…aimed low."

What…?

"So… Sorry. And stuff."

Sanji felt his brain click back on and immediately saw red. "Open the door," he said in a much calmer voice than he thought he would.

"What?"

"Open the door."

He would have laughed at Zoro's nearly worried expression if he weren't in such a silent rage. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to kick your ass in here where your stupid heavy gorilla body could smash plates and glasses." Zoro frowned and crossed his arms, shaking his head. "GET OUTSIDE SO I CAN KICK YOUR PERVERT ASS, MARIMO!"

His foot shot out with the intent to kick the green-haired man right out the door, but much to his surprise, Zoro managed to catch his shoe in his hands just before it made contact with his stomach. It only served to fan the flames of Sanji's rage. He tried to twist out of Zoro's grasp but the swordsman's grip was solid and there was no way for Sanji to out-muscle him standing in such an awkward position. How had he even allowed the stupid Marimo to catch him like that?

As if reading his mind, Zoro snorted and sent him a reproachful glare. "Come on, Shit Cook. You're too pissed to even fight properly." He hated how right the swordsman was and felt another wave of fury. "Come on," Zoro urged. "I said I was sorry."

"I don't care how sorry you are!" Well aware of how whiny he sounded, Sanji managed to wrench his foot from Zoro's grasp. He swore never to fight with his hands so instead he raised his fist, held it straight out and demanded, "Walk into this, asshole!"

Zoro gave him a flat look and crossed his arms. "Really?" He deadpanned.

"Yes, fucking _really_! You _kissed_ my beautiful Nami-swan, you brain-dead bastard!" Okay, so maybe telling Zoro to walk into his fist was just plain stupid and futile but damn if he wasn't mad enough to be a bit irrational at the moment. Not only was he furious, but also a horrible sense of betrayal was beginning to sour his stomach. "I would have never expected something so low, especially from you."

The swordsman frowned, not _scowled_ but actually frowned, a slightly hurt expression crossing his face before it disappeared so quickly Sanji was sure he had imagined it. "You _know_ I never would've done that on purpose. Hell, Cook, I couldn't even kiss _Shiloh_ without asking for your damn advice. What makes you think I could have been stupidly bold enough to kiss someone else's girlfriend?"

 _That_ stopped Sanji cold. Not because of the logic in the swordsman's words, but because of the admission of the lack of a skill or ability. Zoro _never_ admitted to being inadequate at _anything_ even if he was.

A tired sigh left his lips as he lowered his fist. He wanted to be angrier with the swordsman than he actually was, wanted to have enough fire to kick him dead in the chest and send him flying, but the flames of his initial fury had cooled, leaving him feeling deflated. The truth was that deep down he _did_ know that Zoro would never actually disrespect him and Nami in such a way on purpose.

"Did you apologize to her?"

Zoro crossed his arms and looked away uncomfortably. "Not exactly… I asked how I could make up for it." Sanji gave him an entirely unimpressed look. "Don't give me that look. That's my way of apologizing, all right?"

The cook sighed. He supposed that was the best Zoro could do, especially for being such an idiot. "And what did she say?"

A brief pause was the initial response before: "She told Shiloh to deal with me."

Despite how he had so badly wanted to hurt the swordsman a few minutes ago, Sanji found himself slightly worried at the other man's words. It would be tragic if something so stupid ruined Zoro and Shiloh's still young relationship.

Realization hit him harder than his anger had. He was actually _rooting_ for those two idiots to work out. It mattered to him that Zoro experienced true love, and, crazy as it sounded, he knew it mattered to Zoro that he did as well. They had become unlikely allies in romance, just as they had become unlikely almost friends and crewmates. "…Was she upset?"

"No," Zoro replied slowly as he stuck his hands in his pockets. "I almost wish she had been…"

Sanji frowned. "What do you mean by that, Marimo?"

The swordsman shook his head and refused to meet the cook's eyes. "Nothing." After a pause in which Sanji had no words to fill, Zoro offered pointedly, "I'll clean up after every meal for a month. To make up for… you know."

Sanji very nearly took him up on the offer, but decided against it. If Nami let it go, then he would be an honorable man and do the same. "Are you kidding? I don't want you in here after meals. I'd end up with more broken dishes than clean ones."

Zoro offered him a friendly grin that he couldn't help but return. "Free kick?" The swordsman suggested as he stood up straight so Sanji could get a better hit in. The blond rolled his visible eye. He and Zoro both knew neither of them would ever take such a cheap shot. Still, he supposed it was nice for the idiot to offer.

"Yeah, right," he answered. "Don't patronize me, you bastard."

"Fine," the green-haired man replied. "But I'm never offering again."

Sanji was about to point out that he could kick Zoro's ass without the free hit but the door bursting open stopped him. Shiloh ran in with a huge smile on her face and caught both men around the neck with each of her arms. How someone so much shorter and smaller than the both of them managed to do such a thing, he had no idea. "Yay! Everything worked out just fine! And I didn't even need to bite Sanji's ankles!"

The cook gave Zoro the most confused look that had ever been on his face. "What?"

Zoro shook his head and covered Shiloh's face with his hand, pushing her away. "Ignore her. She's stupid."

"That's mean," came the muffled response.

Sanji chuckled. "That _is_ mean, Marimo. Instead of being an incompetent fool and accidentally kissing other ladies, you should replace that hand of yours with your lips."

He got the satisfaction of seeing Zoro turn an interesting shade of red and removing his hand from Shiloh's face as if he had been burned. "Shut up, pervert Ero-Cook!"

Shiloh shrugged and smiled. "I don't know why you're so embarrassed. It's not like you're _bad_ at kissing. We can practice right now if you w-"

"SHY!"

Sanji wasn't sure to laugh or gag at what he just heard. One the one hand, the thought of Zoro _making out_ with anyone was revolting, but on the other hand, seeing the swordsman's mortified face was such a rare treat that he didn't want to lose the opportunity to torment him about it.

He shrugged dramatically. "I don't even know why I was so upset about your little slip up with Nami-swan. It's not like a beautiful angel such as her would ever _enjoy_ something like that from someone like you."

"I didn't," came a voice from the doorway. "I have no idea how Shy even stomachs him."

Shiloh snorted good-naturedly and patted Zoro's arm. "I like him."

"Even though his lips are as dry as barren earth?" Sanji couldn't help it. He burst out laughing, pointing at the absolutely silently enraged swordsman. But Nami wasn't finished. "I swear, it was more like being scorched than being kissed." The cook doubled over, gasping for breath as tears of mirth threatened to leak from his eyes.

Zoro stomped over to him and grabbed him by the collar. "Shut up, Curly-Brow! At least I wouldn't taste like an ashtray!"

"What?!" Sanji cried as he also grabbed the swordsman near the neck of his shirt. "Say that again, asshole!"

Shiloh titled her head and gave Nami a look. " _Does_ he taste like an ashtray?"

Nami shrugged. "Only sometimes."

"Ha!" Zoro yelled triumphantly. Sanji felt his face fall just the slightest bit.

"Does Zoro have dry lips?" Nami asked the shorter redhead.

Shiloh raised her hand and made a so-so gesture. "Not _all_ the time."

" _Ha!_ " Sanji returned cheekily, completely recovered.

Had they not been in the galley, the swordsman and the cook would have already been brawling. But since they _were_ confined in a small space and too busy trying to stare the other down to take it outside, they settled for hurling insults back and forth, foreheads practically touching.

"Pervert Dartboard!"

"Brainless Gorilla!"

"Ash Breath!"

"Desert Lips!"

Unbeknownst to both men, Nami and Shiloh had exchanged horribly mischievous smirks as they each snuck behind their significant other. With twin maniacal giggles, they shoved Sanji and Zoro right into each other, their open mouths smashing together.

The sound of retching echoed throughout the entire ship.

* * *

It had taken all of two seconds for Nami to usher Zoro and Shiloh out of the galley with a wink to the shorter redhead after the swordsman and chef had had their fill of gagging and complaining.

"Nami-swaaaann…" Sanji moaned pitifully from the floor. He had deflated and sunken into a sad pile of gangly limbs the moment the door had closed. "Why?"

The navigator got on her knees beside the cook, trying not to look too pleased with herself. "Because you left yourselves open to it and it was funny."

The blonde made a pitiful whining sound that softened her smirk to a smile. "But my lips are supposed to be only for you…" Not that Nami would have ever told him but Sanji's words, for once sounding very sincere instead of flirty, warmed her heart. "Shitty Marimo and his stupid shitty dry lips. I've been traumatized for life!"

Letting out a quiet laugh, Nami reached down to cup Sanji's chin, looked at him through half-lidded eyes, and offered in a sultry voice, "Shall I try and make you forget?"

It was so worth it to see the cook turn red as an apple. Despite giving Sanji a hard time about a lot of things, she really did find him both very handsome and ridiculously cute. He could be the knight in shining armor that every woman dreamed about but also the submissive gentleman that would fulfill her every whim. Nami knew that there was no such thing as the perfect man, but Sanji came closer than anyone else and he was _hers_ and even if she didn't say it or show it openly, she absolutely adored him. She wasn't sure yet, but she was beginning to think that she even _loved_ the crazy cook.

So when he answered back with a breathless, "Please do," all she could do was lean down and plant her lips on his.

* * *

"I can't believe you did that!" Zoro was still angrily rubbing his lips with his forearm as he stomped away from the galley with Shiloh in tow. "I swear that damned sea witch is rubbing off on you!"

"Oh come on," Shiloh replied with a poorly concealed laugh, "It can't have been that bad."

"Would _you_ ever kiss that damned pervert cook?!"

The redhead looked up thoughtfully. "Well, I used to kiss anyone if they paid enough." Zoro stopped scrubbing at his mouth in favor of giving the young woman a flat glare. To her credit, Shiloh immediately brought her gaze to the ground, properly abashed, and toed absently at the grass. "Sorry," she muttered. "Inappropriate." A second passed before she added, "I wouldn't. I wouldn't kiss Sanji. Or anyone else, since I've got you, and no one could ever compare to you."

The swordsman wanted to still be angry but the irritation inside him was slipping away faster than he could catch it at the sight of Shiloh's blushing face. He was sure he had a similar and very stupid look on his own face if the heat rising from his cheeks were any sort of indication. How did the redhead always find things to say that simultaneously embarrassed and pleased him?

Clearing his throat, he managed to stop the burning of his face and said with a teasing smirk, "Well I don't even have anyone to compare you to so you got lucky."

Shiloh immediately took the bait with a grin of her own. "You trying to say I'm a bad kisser, Tough Guy?"

Zoro shrugged and turned away, more to hide the amusement on his face than anything. "I'm just saying I wouldn't know the difference."

When no response came, the green-haired man turned back around to look at the redhead but was met with arms wrapping around his waist and deep amber eyes boring into his. "You kissing Nami was a stupid kiss." He growled low in his throat and rolled his eyes at being reminded of that whole stupid mess. "You kissing me earlier," he blinked and tried to fight the redness that was threatening to take over his cheeks again, "Was a good kiss." Shiloh's face was getting closer to his and he found himself unconsciously leaning down to slowly meet her. "Your kiss with Sanji was a bad kiss."

Zoro tried to snort but it came out more like a short intake of breath at Shiloh's close proximity. "No kidding."

The redhead's lips were practically on his. All he needed to do was close the space between them. "And this," Shiloh whispered, "Roronoa Zoro, is about to be an amazing, _unforgettable_ kiss."

With much more boldness than he thought he could have mustered at the moment, Zoro placed his hand behind Shiloh's head and stared deep into her eyes. The redhead was beginning to drive him crazy in ways he couldn't even understand. Her words rang in his ears, but the warm look she was giving him resonated in his heart. With a deep breath, Zoro said the only words he could think of.

"Prove it."

* * *

Usopp put down his binoculars. When he had seen something moving around in Nami's tangerine bushes he had assumed Luffy had gotten hungry and was attempting to sneak a few. He hadn't expected to see Nami and Sanji practically eating each other's faces.

He had immediately set his gaze downward, only to find Zoro and Shiloh doing very nearly the same thing against the foremast. To be fair, they were settled against the backside of the large structure; it just so happened that he was at the helm so he saw them from above.

The sharp-shooter made a disgusted sound and turned back towards the bow. He locked eyes with Luffy (who was sitting on The Thousand Sunny's figurehead) who laughed and gave him a curious look. "What happened? Your face looks funny!"

It was probably better if he didn't say anything to the other man. He didn't want their captain to go to either couple and demand to know what they were doing, especially if it could be traced back to him revealing the information to begin with. Shiloh wasn't much of a threat, but Zoro, Sanji, and Nami could still terrify the living daylights out of him "Nothing, Luffy. Just some weird looking clouds."

To his relief, Luffy merely looked up curiously before shrugging turning back around to stare out into the ocean.

Usopp sighed. It was nice and all that Zoro and Sanji were living their own romances, and it wasn't as if either of their antics bothered him or anything, but it _did_ remind him of a special someone back home who he missed dearly.

Also, watching men he considered brothers kissing women he practically considered sisters was a bit odd, if not uncomfortable at times. He snuck a sidelong glance at Luffy. Sometimes he wondered if Luffy even understood that some of his crewmembers were beginning to pair off, or if he did know if he even cared. He found it hard to believe that Luffy would notice or care about such things.

Usopp nodded to himself. Nah, the captain was just too simple-minded to notice such things. Of course he _knew_ about who was in a relationship with whom, but there was no way he knew what that even entailed. He was just too oblivious.

Satisfied with his conclusion, Usopp pocketed his binoculars and made to walk back down towards his workshop when Luffy's jovial voice stopped him.

"So did you see the make-out party going on down there?"

Usopp sputtered like a fool in shock at his captain's words. "Wh-what?! You knew?!"

Luffy stuck his tongue out at him as he stepped off the figurehead. "Of course! What kind of captain doesn't know what's happening on his ship?" Usopp was about to reply with a teasing response but was cut off by their captain grabbing his arm and dragging him down towards stairs. A mischievous grin was splitting Luffy's face; a grin that spoke of horrible things to come for the sharp-shooter. "Lets go mess with them."

Usopp tried to protest but Luffy was not having it and Luffy always got his way. The long-nosed man eventually stopped fighting it and allowed their captain to lead him where he wanted.

Usopp said a silent prayer as Luffy opened his mouth to shout at either Zoro or Sanji.

"HEY! WHEN ARE YOU GUYS GONNA STOP SUCKING FACE AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL?!"

Usopp would have laughed at the irony of Luffy's words if both Sanji and Zoro hadn't let out enraged roars. Luffy merely laughed and took off running, pulling Usopp along with him.

They managed to duck just as Sanji went soaring over their heads, his leg out in a furious kick and as one of Zoro's sword slashes caused a cold chill to their left. All the while Luffy laughed like the crazy lunatic he was as Usopp whimpered in fear.

Another kick and slashed barely missed them, causing their captain to jump up with his fist pulled back. "That's what I'm talking about!" He cried excitedly. "Let's play, guys!"

Usopp sighed.

He just had to resign himself to the fact that they were so unbelievably, utterly, and undeniably, doomed.

* * *

 _ **A/N**_

 _Just a little something silly and fun. Thanks for reading!_


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